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current | archives | profile | Noah & Jaidyn | Chase | Hailey | email | notes | host | image | design A year ago today.. A year ago today I was 17 weeks pregnant. A year ago today, I started spotting and went to the er A year ago today, I found out we lost our angel baby A year ago today, I was sad and didn't understand why bad things had to happen A year ago today, I didn't understand what God had instore for me A year ago today, I was lost and confused A year ago tomorrow, I had to have surgery to help release our angel baby from my body. Today, I am sad for the loss we experienced. I am sad that I have a angel baby day. But then again today, my faith is God is stronger then it was a year ago. I know I don't have to understand at the time what he has in store for me. I just let him lead and in the end things work out the way he meant them too. If I hadnt lost my angel baby I wouldn't have gotten pregnant with Chase. I wouldn't have caried him for 9 months and grown to love him. I wouldn't be holding my precious 11 day old in my arms right now. Even though today and tomorrow mark annverseries of a very sad time for me last year, they also mark a changing point in my life. A point where I found more faith in God then I had before. God knew what he was doing when he took my little angel a year ago, and he blessed us with Chase this year at this time. He watched out for Chase and I during birth and thankfully he blessed me with good drs who where able to catch on to his heartrate dropping in time to get him here safely! So as I grieve today and tomorrow for my angel baby who I never got to meet, I also feel blessed to have my Chase man here with me and my faith in God is stronger then before... A year ago today, I couldn't have thought this way. I couldn't have found a positive in a very negitive thing, but then again that was a year ago and Ih ave done a lot of growing and changing in the last year. I miss my angel baby. Wonder what she would have looked like or been like, but I know she wasn't meant to be. It doesn't make it less sad, doesn't make it easy to handle, but knowing she is with God helps a lot. And having a healthy little boy in my arms right now helps as well... |
