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current | archives | profile | Noah & Jaidyn | Chase | Hailey | email | notes | host | image | design normal again Is it too much to ask to feel or be normal again?? I hate feeling like this, that everything is all messed up and I can't do anything about it... Its been 6 weeks since I had AF, 6 weeks and no signs of her coming. I just want it to come so I know I am normal and we can start trying for a baby. I have tested just to be sure I am not preg. and of course its negitive. I feel so unnormal. I don't know where I am in my cycle, I can't determine when I ovulate, I can't try to have a baby yet because my body won't do what its supposed to. I just want to go back before July 2 when everything was normal. When I was carring my baby, when I knew my body, when I felt like I was human... Since Sept 1st I have thought I should have started. That was umm like almost 20 days agoand that SUCKS. I should call a dr. I don't know if the D&C, the loss, or the month I actually took the pill is what is causing this. I mean I had two AFs in a 14 days period and now like nada... I hate dr.'s though. Every dr. I have ever had as truely sucked and sucked badly... Since stressing about my cycle, the dreams have come back. The dreams of babies I couldn't do anything for, the dreams of not being able to save Noah or Jaidyn, or just dreams that aren't pleasent. How can i move on and try to live a more normal life, when my body is still so messed up?? I just want to move on, I want to wake up one morning and not be sad. I want to go to bed one night and sad worry about my dreams.. I just want to be normal again |
