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current | archives | profile | Noah & Jaidyn | Chase | Hailey | email | notes | host | image | design love you to the sky Okay so I have been sitting here looking at this little white box for awhile now. To be exact, about 15 minutes! So why am I writing here again? Mostly because, well I have a lot on my mind. Mostly about being shy, even on the net. I leave out a lot of feelings, and don't particape in conversations online even, because I am shy. I don't do my best writing in emails or in this diary even, because I know someone is going to read it, I guess. Things I write for just me don't even sound like they came from me sometimes! I have reread stories I have wrote in the past and been AMAZED at how well it was written, and that was back when I was 16. OH if I had copies (maybe I do??) of some of the stories and things I wrote to Brian when we were dating. I wrote about our first kiss, but wrote it as a story without names, I wrote about the day we met, the night he asked me to be his wife, and much much more. Just don't know what I did with everything. I think I am just aggervated because well I haven't been writing the way I know I can, and because I am to dang shy sometimes. Why in the world should I not write an email in reply to someone because I am worried about what they will think?? I don't really care what so and so in so and so thinks about me! lol :) I have a few friends on here who know more of the real me. Actually most of the people who got this link from ME know the real me better.. Okay so I just feeling down today. Probably because I am sick, and tired, and well just worn out. Walking across the house makes me tired. Chasing Jaidyn and Noah is making me tired. Have to get better, so I have energy again and my mind feels better. In 2 days my daughter turns one. I am excited but sad too. I loss my little tiny baby! She is turning into a toddler. Its amazing to watch her grow up so much though. She isn't the tiny baby who I nursed for the first 20 minutes of her life, she isn't the small little baby who cuddled with me 99% of the day, she is a crawling, growing, exploring, adventure craving, toddler in the making! She studies everything and wants to learn everything she can about each thing she sees, touches, or in most cases, chews on! lol So my baby is growing up to be a toddler in so many ways, yet a baby in others. She still has no teeth, but she will get them in time. She still doesn't walk, but that is okay, she isn't Noah and I don't expect her to do anything on his time scale. Noah was advanced and still is, Jaidyn is Jaidyn and she will be who she is, just as Noah is who he is! Noah Riley. My little Monkey boy told me today that his little strong hands couldn't get the nail out of the wall, but daddy's big strong hands could. He also told me that he loves me and Jaidyn to the sky and the stars. So smart, sweet and perceptive. He has also starting talk more about things that are the same or different. This car is different then that one, This truck is broke (yep we are talking about his daddys) and that one isn't, He is a boy and Jaidyn is a girl. Though to him being a boy or a girl isn't as much about the body parts that each has that are different. Its more about the color pink is for girls but not for him (I have never tought him that?? It comes natural I guess??) Dolls are for girls, but he can play with them if Jaidyn is! lol He knows the general look of girls and boys and can tell you which is which in a magizine or book. He knows that his grandpa is his daddy's daddy! lol :) Okay so talking about my kids puts me in a better mood. Watching them sit here and play makes my mood better too, I believe. Jaidyn is so adorable and Noah is being such a good and sweet boy now... My throat hurts again! UGH I just want to be well again, and I think I will get out of my slump. Hey any ideas for Jaidyns 1st birthday party theme from anyone who reads this?? I have few ideas just need to decide what I really want for her. First birthday are special! :) |
